Just when I thought there were no more “Dad’s Postcards”, I get this in the mail:
It is addressed to “Her Longness (Pirate Rachel) Ms Rrrrrrrrrrrrr…. Stevens” and it reads:
“Hey Blu Rae. Here is a photo of ‘Happy Hr’ at the family reunion. That’s me in the red hat (so Mom can find me). WOW – This B&W photography is amazing, you should try it. They said ‘NO JACKASSES’ & I thought that meant Arn’s side of the family (except Rob) but it was the animal. Mom is mad at me because she told me to get a ‘Lazy Boy’ rocker & I came home w/ an Aussie guitar player. He is still here & won’t leave. Mom is getting pissed. I’m trying to teach him the ‘Keith riff’ but he is kinda thick.* He needs to drink more coffee. I keep telling him ‘Try to be like Keith’.
*I asked him if he had any assets & he thought I meant little donkeys.”
Oh, I really love my pops.
Here is the final installment of a series I like to call, “Dad’s Postcards”… Not clever? Right… okay. Well, even though I can’t think of a more fitting hilarious title for “Dad’s Postcards”, his last addition is no let down:
It is addressed to “Her Tallness Rachel Stevens” and reads…. ahhhemmhemmhemm….
“Hay BluRay, They asked me to help design the Corn Palace again but I said NO because I’m trying to quit eating corn tortillas & it would be too much of a temptation. They said that’s too bad because they grew some bright pink corn just for me. Now I’m thinking about doing it just to see what the corn tastes like. Working on the Palace is such a hassle because the birds eat all the corn & poop on you like rain. Mom is still mad at me about ruining her good umbrella. I think it looks cute.
BAD DADDY [drawn smiling face.]”
Thanks, Pops, for all of the hilarious postcards. I needed them and enjoyed them more than you know.
My dad is so great. And he’s also an amazing artist! Proud daughter, right here. Check him out: www.jimgeiergallery.com
I know that I’ve already posted today, but my amazing parents have turned my day around and I must share…
With a raging headache [that started at about 7:35am], I opened my email at about 1:30pm to find a precious email from my mother that reads:
After reading your blogs and becoming more in tune to the precious moments in life, I have to pass this one on to you.
(At the grocery store by the milk case today)
4 year old boy says to his dad (seriously)
“Dad, what’s your favorite animal besides Scooby Doo?”
I didn’t hear dad’s response but I hope he cherished the question as much as I did.
Love you, babe.”
I LOVE IT. I laughed out loud and smiled for the first time today, which is sad. Anywho, thanks for sharing Momma… you are awesome.
And then you’ll never guess what I got in the mail… ANOTHER POSTCARD FROM MY POPS! I knew you wouldn’t be able to guess. Anywho, this one made me laugh real hard… maybe might be my favorite thus far.
Please Note: The first part of the card is actually true… Dad wasn’t trying to be funny…
It is addressed to “The Astute Rachel Stevens” and it reads… ahhhemmhemmhemm….
Hay Sting Rae, My Grandpa & uncles climbed the stairs in the 30s & stood on top of the FACES. Your Grandpa’s name is on the memorial wall here. This yr Mom wants to drive behind the faces to look at their asses. I don’t want to because it always smells so bad there. You have to drive by Pecker Rock to get there. That’s always uplifting. After that we’re going to Flaccid Falls. It’s near Deadwood, which is downstream from the Hot Springs. I think whoever named all these places had a problem.
*I thought I saw Dolly Parton in this photo but it was just 2 bald headed men standing close together.”
I hope I’m as great as my folks someday.
Apparently, the postcard my father sent me [see post below] is one in a series. This is the best news I’ve had ever. I hope you think that my dad is as amazing/hilarious as I do… because all of these postcards will be going on this blog.
It is addressed to “Ms. Dazzling Rokee Stevens” and it reads… ahhemmhemmhemmm…
“Hay Rae, Mick & Keith dropped in for Bar•B•Q again. I should have never told them ‘I live close to an airport.’ At least they gave me 5 hrs notice so I could get cooking. I asked Keith if we were mates or he was just using me for the ‘Q’. He said ‘What’s the difference?’ Nice guy but he drinks too much coffee. Anyway I said that if we’re really mates, to mention ‘Thanks’ to me on the next CD. He said that the last guy he did that for now accuses him of ruining his life. Keith & I jammed a lil bit & I think he stole a riff from me. That’s always how he gets good ideas for songs. Anyway don’t look for my name on any Stones tune soon.
For those of you who know my father, this should be entertaining…
For those of you who don’t, I think this is a great introduction to Jim Geier Stevens…
Today, in the mail, I received this postcard from the aforementioned character:
It is addressed to “The Divine Rachel Stevens” and reads… ahhhemmhemmhemm…
Hey Rae, The buffalo got loose on our land again. Here is a picture of them. I complained to the developer again & he said there is nothing he can do about it. They have been here thousands of yrs so they were here first. I said why do they always have to go thru my land. It would be different if I could shoot em. Mom says we should go into the Bison Shit business & I said we already have. Fresh or dried? The difference between shit & shinola is once you step in it, it is shinola.
gosh, i love him.