biting, sinking.

Favorite song of the moment:

But don’t you stop listening to JLM:

Man, I wish I could go to this…

The travel bug is biting, sinking his teeth in hard.

Could it be the cold, cold rain that blew my hood off when trying to run to a brewery haven tonight?  Mayhaps.

But then there was the great skiing that was had earlier today with lovelies.  [gotta get that in while i can.]

And, hay!  Jacksonites, don’t forget about the Pole Pedal Paddle.  It’s comin’ on up.

Here’s an ad I made to help remind you…

It’s a little preview to how decently rad the t-shirts will be.

[have yourself a merry little friday.]

alone. empowered. beautiful.

[feelings oh, so familiar.]

Last night I went to a TreeFight event [nice logo, eh?] at the Center for the Arts featuring the amazing work of Thais Beltrame.

Walking around, I was instantly moved by her work…

It was like a story, an on-going epic…

Moving…

 

fieldtrip.

 

no jardim das coisas que eu não sei.

 

uma de muitas fantasias escapistas.

 

I could go on and on.  I wish I could find the installment she had up last night that was a bunch of smaller drawings of children doing naughty things… gorgeous.

Walking around last night… just falling in love.  There was an old suitcase that was to be filled with old baggage tags with writings of spectators feelings about Beltrame’s art.  I was moved to write,

“Reminds me of Henry Darger, my favorite.
Makes me feel the same way…

alone… empowered… beautiful…”

 

o peso de um coração.

Such powerful feelings.  From art… amazing.

And here’s Henry Darger

[i’ve spoke of him before.]

 

195 are unsuccessfully attacked...

 

untitled.

Can’t explain the connection, but it was there for me and it was powerful.

Leaving the exhibit, I ran into the head honcho for TreeFight…

– Hey Rachel.

– Wull hay… This is amazing: Congrats!

– Thanks.  Hey, did you meet Thais?

– Oh, no I didn’t get to meet her.  Her work is incredible, though.

– Yeah, isn’t it?  She said she really loves the logo for TreeFight and wanted to meet you… C’mon, I’ll introduce you.

– What?  No, I designed a silly logo, she is an incredible artist… She really reminds me of my favorite favorite artist.

– Henry Darger?

– [a bit shocked/baffled] Yes… Wait, how did you know that?  Did I tell you that?  Wait… How did you remember that?

– C’mon…

So I’m introduced to Thais and instantly have a ladycrush on her.  Gorgeous, adorable, little Brazilian who makes breath-taking art… who doesn’t have a crush on her?

– I just wanted to tell you how much I’m in love with your art.

– Oh, thank you!

– And I’m sure it’s not cool to tell you that it reminds me of another artist, but it makes me feel the same way as I do when I look at the work of Henry Darger.

– He is amazing.  One of my favorites as well.  Thank you!  That is such a compliment.

And before I knew it, she was telling me all about her own searching and loving of Darger.  Telling me about standing in front of a recreation of his apartment at the Chicago Cultural Center and feeling like she “was standing [then pausing from a bit of embarrassment, then being brave in truth] in front of an alter.”

Tripping over our words in awe and excitement of his incredible story.  He was a recluse, a janitor.  His art was only discovered after he died.  He became famous on his deathbed.  There are only three known pictures of him.  No one ever hardly looked at him.  While there are now hundreds, thousands of pictures “tagged” of one [each] individual on Facebook, this man, this incredible individual, one of the greatest artists of the 20th century, had only three times someone look at him close enough, focus on him on purpose, to snap a photo.

Wow.

And as cheesy as it sounds, I was almost brought to tears from this conversation with a stranger.  The immediate bond, the depth of a connection discovered… Something great.  Something familiar like a best friend you haven’t seen in so long.  Something like your favorite book covered in dust, opened again.  Something.

Found this photo on Thais’ blahg [in true stalker-galore style]…

And now I don’t know even how to end this.  Convince you I’m not creepy?  Words of hope for more interactions, more strangers?  Arting and its importance?  A song?  Yes, a song…

or two…

…alone.  …empowered.  …beautiful.

we can get along.

Checked the mail today.  Held in my hands a bunch of stuff I don’t want, I don’t need, that’s not supposed to be for me… but then there was amazingness…

Today was a late Christmas…

Today was love…

[expressed in haikus.]

amazing photos in a card from geneva, dave and bard.

photos of bardman
to add to the collection
cannot get enough.


christmas t-rex card from allison.

a t-rex santa?
he won’t come down your chimney
cuz he’s just too rad.

 

an oregon/maine postcard from whales.

a rock but quite more
the memory of freedom
whales, thank you for this.

 

a christmas card from brittnee, robert and dylan.

a child so grown up
who knew a girl from club dos
could show love like this?


[a mix cd from my little bro.]

whoa, is that cee-lo?
where did john fogerty go?
we can get along.

 

a clinique make-up bag from my aunt.

i’d rather have words
as kind as the rest of us
but i’ll take make-up.

 

a bicycle bottle opener from anna.

bicycles and beer
a pair just second to us
thanks anna, you rule.

 

glitter dino from K$.

it’s a mother eff-
-in’ glitter hanging dino
whoa, this be my fave.

“the crane really brings out your eyes.”

I saw 500 Days of Summer about a year ago.

I love it.  And I’m not sorry.  I rented it a couple day ago and have probably watched it at least four times since.

It’s such a real, creative, honest story about boy meets girl.

It’s about the good times…

The those times…

The hard times…

And about break-ups.

Real break-ups, though.  For reasons that aren’t real… those that are completely illogical… which, a lot are.

And then things don’t work out… they just don’t.  There’s heartbreak.  There’s pain.  Pain.  Depression.  Pain.  Loneliness.  But, then, guess what?

It still doesn’t work out.

My favorite part is the Expectations/Reality part…

I laugh at my formal self in embarrassed recognition.

And I love how the film talks about the hardness of love.  The unknowing.  The fate vs. fate is bullshit argument.

T: You never wanted to be someone’s girlfriend and now you’re somebody’s wife.

S: Surprised me too.

T: I don’t think I’ll ever understand that.  I mean it doesn’t make sense.

S: It just happened.

T: Right that’s what I don’t understand.  What just happened?

S: I just woke up one day and I knew.

T: Knew what?

S: ….What I was never sure of with you.

T: ….You know what sucks?  That everything you believe in is complete and utter bullshit.  It sucks.  You know, destiny, soul mates, true love and all that childhood fairytale, none sense.  You were right.  I should have listened to you.

S: I guess it’s because I was sitting in a deli and reading Dorian Grey and a guy comes up to me and asks me about it.  And now he is my husband. So what if I’ve gone to the movies?  What if I had gone somewhere else for lunch? What if I’d gotten there ten minutes later?  It was meant to be and I just kept thinking… Tom was right.

Is it meant to be?  Is anything meant to be?  Is there true love out there?  Soul mates?

Or are we searching so hard for it, we convince ourselves of loves of our lives?  It’s a painful argument.  I’ve come up with a theory…

The people who believe in true love are the one’s who have found it.  And if you do believe in soul mates and you’re not in love, you’ve never had your heart really broken… the rug pulled out from under you.

It’s a pretty solid theory, I believe.  I’m not being a downer or anything… I know that people are in love and that makes them thrive more than even the oxygen they breathe.  I just also know that I don’t know about the whole thing.  And that’s okay.

What do I know?

…that I smiled like a middle school girl making green salsa tonight.

…that I am so grateful for the beer brought over to help celebrate the last addition of my pint glasses… to complete the collection.

…that the excitement of drinking out of bike glasses and “you wanna watch this movie again for a bit?” is totally understood.

…working [and working hard] with a love studying [and studying hard] in the next room is a comfort you cannot fake.

…i will not stop loving this song:

…i will always wanna dance to this song:

…things will WILL be okay.  [nay, they will be great.]

…that if there’s an art opening just two doors down with amazing local art, incredible DJs, beautiful people, custom-made animal headbands and AND a cute boy wants to go, you go:

All this to say, I know happiness.

…happiness.

I don’t know about true love.  But I know about smiling. Maybe if you believe in happiness hard enough, you’ll convince yourself it’s happening… oh, I don’t know.  Maybe it’s different.  Ohp, gotta go… it’s knocking at the door.

Hello, old friend.  Come in and have a drink.  I’ll let you have the green bike glass.

if i had a sword.

Lindsey Yankey, you’ve heard me talk of her before, has had some amazing posts lately.  And since I don’t have anything interesting to share, I’m going to defer to a couple of her’s…

Library Observation #1

I’ve been meaning to write about the library once in a while. Here’s my first go

Kids are awesome.

I over heard a couple of boys in the children’s room at the library this morning. There about eight and the one talking looks like a mini Jeff Goldblum.

Jeff says to his friend who is apparently not near as excited about dinosaurs as himself;

‘Youshouldhaveseen…

you should have seen.

Do you know how big insects were at this time? There there was a centipede as long as a car and this wide! (holding his hands about a foot apart) It would have scared you out of your face!!!’

‘Not if I had a sword.’

perfect.

Library Observation #2

No, I did not draw this. I found it near the dog/how-to-draw section in the children’s room. Not just a Great Dane…this kid drew a Greater Dane.

[amazing.  i love it.  and then lindsey made an amazing piece of art for a love of mine…]

The girl is talented.  The girl is lovely.

And I think she’d like this song… just maybe…

p.s.  Speaking of awesome kids…

check. that. hair.

so so happy.

surprisingly unimportant.

A few years ago, my best friend introduced me to an artist with this image…

goodbye heart.

BANSKY

He is amazing.  He is infamously secretive.  [many still don’t know his identity.]  He is brave.  He is controversial.  He is shocking.  He is inspiring.

Last week, whilst in Texas, I got to see this film:

[one of the many perks i love/miss about austin.]

I haven’t stopped thinking about the film.  Thinking about Banksy.  I had a dream that I just called him to talk… and ask heaps of questions.  Weird.

Anyway, it’s just one of those films you didn’t expect to affect you… and it did.

It makes me want to make certain things in my life surprisingly unimportant.  And other surprising things: important.

Just thought I’d share.

If you get the chance, I highly recommend seeing it: