I just caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and paused with comical assurance.
11:30pm: Wool ski socks, short shorts, grey sweatshirt, long necklace, mom’s old wool cap, bourbon in hand.
I chuckle and think, How did I get here?
With a quick mental recap, I conclude that this day said so much about where I am:
• Still can’t make anything but a shitty cup of coffee. I try so many mornings. When I asked Evan to taste this morning, he says, It’s not the worst.
• Working hard on the things I love still feels like a Mad Men daydream but in actuality means staring at computer for twelve hours at a time while my ass finds a new shape. I love it.
• Trail running in December in Montana is something that’s possible and enjoyable and invigorating and I still surprise myself when I prove these things to myself.
• Watched a Boyhood featurette and fell harder in love with that film and then harder in love with life: http://filmmakermagazine.com/88625-watch-boyhood-behind-the-scenes-featurette/#.VJEqrocxpYB
This made me want to call so many people — my little brother, everyone in Austin, my best friend, every guy I dated in college — and tell them they must sit down right now and watch Boyhood. They must. Right now.
• I received a grant today for a film I’m making. When I read the email, I immediately raised my hands in the air out of excitement like a child would. I like that that’s still in me.
• Unapologetically had a burger and fries and an old fashion with a co-worker to catch up on all of the menial office gossip. This will always be a thing.
• Watch a hockey game with a gaggle of friends and did a lot of standing up and yelling like a crazy mother. I’m still confused on how I got here.
• Home now. Doing laundry so that I can wear my favorite pair of pants tomorrow at work because we’re releasing a film I’ve been working very hard on and I think I should be in my very favorite pants.
Now that I’ve retraced and traced everything, I guess I see.
Everything is pretty familiar.
And for good measure, a song I love right now that maybe should be a warning sign…
[oh, that’s how.]