frictioning geometry.

Tonight felt so much like what this used to feel like.

Evan is gone. Backpacking. And this feels alone like I used to be. Alone.

Staying up late, working on projects, drinking wine, listening to this:

This whole album.

And flipping through an old friend of a book, trying to help a commenter who got lost in the mix. Remembering the power of this:

“Because secrets do not increase in value if kept in a gore-ian lockbox, because one’s past is either made useful or else mutates and becomes cancerous. We share things for the obvious reasons: it makes us feel un-alone, it spreads the weight over a larger area, it holds the possibility of making our share lighter. And it can work either way – not simply as a pain-relief device, but, in the case of not bad news but good, as a share-the-happy-things-I’ve-seen/lessons-I’ve-learned vehicle. Or as a tool for simple connectivity for its own sake, a testing of waters, a stab at engagement with a mass of strangers.”

– A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius.  [Dave Eggers].

It rings so true and affirms decisions to turn harboring weight into art. Use it. Mold it. Be it. Show it.

We all got things to hide.

Lovely.

Sitting in this seat. Working. Staring at a screen. The windows open. Hearing people at the park down the road. Cheering. Laughing. Yelling. And just sitting here. Staring. Listening. More wine, please. Don’t mind if I do.

Photos of myself. Just like it used to be. Just like it used to feel.

likeitusedtobe

It’s just a reflektor.

Making sure I’m still here. Like it used to be. Still in a kitchen.

Is my kitchen messy? Is it messier than most? Every single drawer is open. Every drawer in my life is open at least a little bit… some are spilling; some only hanging on by frictioning geometry.

Do I look older? Shit, I am older. Wait. Am I old? No. Right?

It’s time for the night.

ohmygodthankyouforbeinghere.

the warmth of summer that you live in.

There will soon be a summer round up. [because this summer has just been so so good.]

And mayhaps a Dregs of Summer // Volume II.

For now, know that I’ve been thinking of you.

And the warmth of summer that you live in will not fade yet; I won’t let it.

Here is what I am just in love with right now:

outer-face

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This amazing artist collaborates with her four-year-old daughter. I kind of want to buy a print just to constantly remind myself that things definitely don’t end up like you thought they would… but they are still so beautiful.

Oh, can you even guess how excited I am for this:

I also cannot stop listening to this song:

Beyond that, I’m not sure what my life has consisted of. I started school again… eek, ugh, phew.

According to my Wheelhouse Missoula instagram, I’ve been indulging in all the best beverages:

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time for sleep, my loves.
wake in time for your own time.