the remnants of the good of the darkness.

The last two nights, I’ve had vivid dreams about moving back to Australia.

My friend, Andrew, says…

– Dreams are like pictures: If I’m not in them and no one’s naked, I don’t care.

Well, some of my good friends were in the dreams, as well as the family I used to work for: The Vincents, but no one got naked.

So, you probably don’t care… but…

Australia was such a hard, dark time.  It was like I couldn’t take a right turn; just became more and more lost.

That’s what my dreams felt like.  With that feeling and saying out loud in my dream…

– I came here to make it right… but I just want to go home.

Woke up and made coffee.  Made it in the percolator Evan gave me… one like I used to drink coffee out of in Australia.

One featured in this: http://en.sevenload.com/videos/NbUcslm-William-Kentridge-Journey-to-the-moon

[only place i could find the video… it’s long, but it’s beautiful.]

Felt scared/refreshed/alive/comforted.

Finally made a good cup of coffee.  Haven’t in so long.

Got to work.

Sat in my bed/desk.  Home.  Felt comforted to not be in Australia.  To be home.  Drinking the remnants of the good of the darkness out of an owl cup.

Worked on designs.

Found an ad in the paper that had designs I recently made for a T-shirt:

Smiled.

Turned on KHOL.

Love my fellow DJs and how much they love good music and their community.

Found new loves of songs:

Remembered old loves:

Worked more.

Wrote reviews:

Dom – Sun Bronzed Greek Gods EP
Lo-Fi Noise Rock
RIYL: Best Coast, Dum Dum Girls
“Remixed and Remastered” rereleases only fly if your music is downright wonderful, which Sun Bronzed Greek Gods is. The songs may sound familiar but the magic is still there with every play.  Dominic, the mastermind behind the band who goes by “Dom”, declares, “We want to be the Madonna of garage rock.” They are not far off at all. Dom is garage rock if your garage contains a disco ball, the decor of neon spray paint and a dance-only hopscotch: awesome. The lovechild of Robyn + Menomena = Dom.
PLAY: 2, 1, 3, 4, 5, 7, 6
http://www.myspace.com/dom/

Wye Oak – Civilian
Indie Folk Rock
RIYL: Sharon Van Etten, Cat Power, Heartless Bastards
If Civilian were a played as a concert, I picture a lot of hip suspenders and/or high-waisted skirt clad people in the crowd swaying along to the beautiful soundtrack to their favorite all-night coffee shop.  Every so often they would nod their heads in a near aggressive manner as Wye Oak steps it up and rocks out a bit; as much as Folk Indie “rocks out”.  The Maryland duo Andy Stack (drums, keyboards, backup vocals) and Jenn Wasner (vocals, guitars) do not disappoint as their third full album release brings spooky, delightful, intimate tunes comparable to those of Sharon Van Etten, Cat Power and Heartless Bastards.
PLAY: 2, 5, 7 [but all are good and dreamy.]
http://www.myspace.com/wyeoak

All in all, a good morning.

[realizations of a photo developing from darkness to a bright, beautiful picture of home.]

 

comes asking me… RUNNING OUT…

[it’s a two post kind of day.]

A little girl [probably four or five years old] at the bagel shop I’m at is sitting at a table that I’m standing near, talking to my friends.  All the sudden I hear…

– Mom, she is TALL.

– Yes, yes, she is.

– Well, I’m just wondering why you didn’t grow that tall.

Ha!  I love it.  I should start asking people that same question.  Wondering why they didn’t grow as tall as me.

Darling kids.  Like this one…

[hilarious.]

“…I care that I do something special.”

[preach on, sista.]

glorious embarrassment.

I have been known to be a bit of a junkshow when it comes to skiing.  [gimme a break, i’m from texas!]

aerial falls… skiing downhill kneeling on both skis… acting like a drowning victim after a fall… getting caught in a ski fence…

…oh, the ridiculous memories.

A couple days ago, I skied with two of my closest Jackson girls up on the pass.  We skinned a good ways up and were almost to the top and then we hit a slick, steep spot on the skin track.  Allison and Julia went ahead of me, with caution, giving me the heads-up that it was tricky.

Of course they go right on ahead and then I try it and [gracefully] slide right down backwards and fall in deep powder off the skin track.

And of course a group of EIGHT people decide to turn the bend at that exact moment to find me sitting in the snow while my friends are out of sight.

Oh, it was a glorious embarrassment.

SO embarrassing.

– Oh, hi, no, I’m fine… Yeah, no, just go ahead… I’ll just sit here.  No, I don’t want anyone watching me while I try to get back up.  Yeah, no, I’m resting.

Those things are always NOT funny until you share them with a friend.  It’s always don’t cry, be cool, don’t cry, you’re fine… and then a laughing ’til you cry release reenactment when you tell a loved one.

And I was thinking about this yesterday, walking accross town from meeting to another meeting.  Thinking about how I’m just such a ridiculous junkshow sometimes when I ski.

I thought about getting out there more, practicing, skiing everyday, when all of the sudden I tripped.

It was one of the most glorious trips of all my life… One of those trips where your torso becomes parallel with the ground and your arms are flailing while your legs are taking the longest strides they’ve ever taken, stomping 1, 2, 3… until… CRASH.

Right into a snowbank.  HARD.

I couldn’t believe it.  I jumped up quicker than any tripping victim should and looked around.  Please let there not be anyone around, please tell me no one saw that, please, please, I’m cool, I’m cool, that was totally planned, oh, I have snow all over me, oh, my…

No one saw me, but I was mortified.  MORTIFIED.

Turns out I’m a junkshow in all kinds of aspects of my life.  But after sharing with a loved one my ridiculous story, she told me…

– You are my favorite junkshow.

[win.]

[love it.]

break in the eye.

I wish I had more to give you… isn’t that always the case?

I found this on PostSecret

First off, if you haven’t heard of PostSecret, it is a site that posts secrets that are mailed in on postcards.  It’s beautiful.

Secondly, I feel like a lot of us need to see/hear this.  It’s just so simply put.  Black written on a white card.  The power of true forgiveness… something moving.

And then these few songs that I’m obsessed with…

and…

[i mainly love how the old man chuckles at the end of this video.]

These two songs can be found on my most recently uploaded radio show, found on the post below.  Oh, geeze, fine, here it is again:

And then there’s the new Radiohead…

What do we think?  A hipster reviewer says that the whole album is like, “an exhausted cigarette break in the eye of a hurricane.”

That’s so damn hip, I don’t even know what it means.

Hipster: Of course she doesn’t.

she was your age.

A little Friday refresher of some finds I think you’ll enjoy…

This website: http://picturesofmymother.com

It’s so wonderful!  Your mother… where you came from… when she was your age… the same.  Such a beautiful thing.

Gosh, I love it.

And this movie:

It’s delightful.  Raw.  Different.  Indie [get ready… if you like “indie”, you’ll love… if you don’t, you’ll hate.]

And then this little thing:

It’s my show from yesterday and I larve it.  Not so much the talking I had to do… but the music… LOTS of new stuff.  Great new listens for you.

Take a listen and I’ll post the playlist later if ya like.

Much love to all.  Hope your week was wonderful and the next gets started off with just a mind-blowing weekend.

[too much?]

be forewarned.

I had big Valentine’s plans.

Big Valentine’s plans for you… the reader… subscriber.

I was going to share with you an entry in the journal [it’s like a blahg but with pen and paper… more work] about love.  Love as a question.  Love as a doubt.  Love as a choice.  Love as a mystery.  Love as a hindrance.  Love as an inheritance.  Love as a relief.  Love as a surprise.

I was going to scan it in and everything… and I might still… but not now.

The day became too busy.  I’m sitting here now, later than earlier, dinner being cooked for me [by the way, feminists, i’m scoring major points for us tonight], wine being drank, nothing that takes more time than typing or shoveling food or lifting a glass to lips is going to happen tonight.

My day was [unexpectedly] filled from start to finish.

Started with working, sitting in bed.  Working and skyping with my best friend and listening to KHOL… my friend, Colleen, playing love songs.

Requesting my favorite song ever.  And then when I heard the bells and drums of those first few bars, I jumped outta bed [still in my scandalous pjs] and danced all around the bedroom, the apartment:

The best start to a morning EVER.  And then she played Seal and then Boyz II Men and well, I was in bliss.

And then a friend wanted to do lunch and YES, of course.

Because I haven’t really figured out romantic love… I haven’t.  My boyfriend knows this.

[that’s him… trying to get in the shot.  jk, love.]

But I know the truth in the love of friendship.  And when a friend calls, you say, “yes”… because it’s love.

So we lunched and it was hilarious/delightful.

And then I rushed home to make the cake that is my Valentine’s gift to the bf.

I wish someone would have filmed this kitchen adventure.  It was comical/tragic.  I would’ve made millions on the movie rights.

Recipe Book:  Pour the chocolate batter into the cream batter and fold it.

Me:  Ummmm…. The “chocolate batter” is in balls and has weird pockets of whiteness in it… I’m just gonna pick it up and plop it in the whitish bowl.

The cake could very well be horrible.  We’ll find out later.

Then a friend called and wanted to go for a drink.  And I said “yes”.  Because of love.  And because of the love you choose and want and the laughter in love and yes and yes.

We went to a crowded bar and sat at a table next to a man eating dinner by himself.  He warned us…

– Be forewarned, I usually like to flirt with young, cute girls.

– Ha.  Okay, we’re officially warned.

But he really didn’t flirt with/bother us at all.  Didn’t even really talk to us.

My friend [the cute one] and I tried to figure out what to drink.  It’s 2-for-1s at this bar’s happy hour, so we had to agree on a drink.

– Are margaritas two for ones?

– I dunno.  I thought last time you got one you had to pay more.

– Hmmm… I should ask.  I kinda want a marg.  Would you want one if they were two for one?

– No.

– Ha.  Okay, we’ll get beer.

So we had our beers and had a great time catching up and laughing at ridiculousness around us.  The older man next to us finished his meal, paid and then came over to me and put his hand on my back.

He put a ten dollar bill on the table and said…

– Here.  Have the margarita.  You should always get what you want on Valentine’s Day.

I was so taken back.  So surprised.

Then he left.

The kindness of an older man.  Sitting alone.

Who was he?  Who is he?  What is the love in his life?  What is the story of the love that has been in his life?

Sitting, eating alone, watching the world go around, making note of silly little problems and being human enough to recognize the beauty in the silly little problems and oh, wait… the even more beautiful sister of those problems that is the silly solution… the random act of kindness.  Gorgeous.

LOVE.

[randomness.]

[beauty.]

Happy Valentine’s Day.

I hope you get what you want.