worst/best.

Life is full of contradictions, mind-changes, irony and the such.  I almost said my life was full of the daily contradictions, but I like to think it’s not just me.

If you read through my journal, you’ll think [know] I’m crazy.

This is the WORST.

This is the BEST!

I love him.

I hate him.

Today was HORRIBLE.

That was the best sandwich EVER.

Today was no different.  I’ve been studying up and fine-tuning myself for this huge string of interviews I have in Santa Barbara today.  With the rest of holiday socializing and regular life-ing, it became a bit hectic for a bit.  So hectic, I started to get worn down… feeling a little sick.

With a flight from Jackson to Santa Barbara, there’s gonna have to be two connections… and you’re gonna have to get the 7am flight.

…Which means you’re gonna have to wake up at 4:30am to get showered up, dolled up, interview ready and get to the airport a hour and a half before your flight.

And that wasn’t a problem for me… because I was up at 1:30am, 2am, 2:45am and 3:30am with the sorest throat, worst headache and generally burning up.  A little after 3:30, I finally called my mom…

– [groggy] Hello?  Rachel?  You okay?

– I’m so so sick, Momma.  [crying and croaking]

– Oh, baby, what’s the matter?

– [hysterical]  Ismythrtandheadfevrrrflyintviewandihatethisidntfllllgoood.

– …………I’m sorry, baby, I can’t understand you.

– [pulling it together]  This is just the worst.  I feel horrible.  What do I do?

– Can you call the people you need to interview with?  Do you want to just stay home and try to do it another time?

– No, I don’t want to do that.

[because i’m thinking about the brutal truth… http://www.marriedtothesea.com/121710/terrified-of-the-real-world.gif]

– Okay, well… Take some [long list of medications] throughout the day.  Take a shower, that’ll make you feel better.  Drink water and eat!  Make sure you eat… don’t want you passing out in the shower or crashing for your interview.

– Okay, yeah… Thanks.  Okay.  [crying again.]  This is just the worst!  Of course I would get sick like this right now!

– It’s gonna be okay.  Just get through this one day and then rest, rest, rest.

Mom prayed for me over the phone and despite your religious/spiritual stance, it was heart-warming and encouraging.  It was love.

I got off the phone with her, downed some meds, jumped in the shower and just kept thinking over and over, I‘ve got this… because I have love surrounding me, I have strength and I know I’ve got this. Over and over, Love, Strength, Confidence.

And I felt SO much better after the shower.  Besides the lack of sleep, I was [am] functioning at an amazingly healthy level.

Jackson flight delayed and barely made my Salt Lake connection.  Stood in line to board the plane with a lovely woman.  We got to chatting, she’s going to Santa Barbara today, too.  She used to live there… for 25 years!  Talked about how great mountain towns are, how great SB is, good food, good people, laughing at the little things, the important things in life.

Boarded the plane, found out we’re sitting right next to each other on the plane… awesome!  Yay for new friends!

And then she starts to read her book and me mine and then we discover there’s free wireless on this flight and I become ridiculously excited because I’m a dork and I proclaim…

– This is the best!

Haha… Laughing at myself.  Laughing at life.

The worst, the best… and everywhere in between… on a daily basis.

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