at sea!

Upon my last crazy week in Sydney, I realized that [somehow] I accumulated more stuff than I could fit in the allowed airplane baggage.

[p.s. i will never understand how i have so many clothes and yet always want something else to wear…]

So three days before I left, amongst the craziest times I might have ever had, I decided I needed to send some packages to Jackson.  I trucked three pretty sizable boxes over to the post office and after filling out forms recounting every item in each box, I finally made it to the counter…

– Hi.  I need to send these to America… just the cheapest way.

– Alright… that’s by sea.

– Okay.  That’s fine.

So I paid the woman [$115, if you were interested] and she started to prepare the packages.  Yes, “prepare”.  That’s when I should have known.  I should have known it is not normal to put regular mail in canvas bags and tie them up with rope… should’ve known…

[three days later.]

It was time to fly home… well, almost.  Jimmy [good friend/hero #4957 in my life… seriously, how many times will i have to be saved?] took me to brekky and then was kind enough to hunt down a post office on the way to dropping me off at the airport… so I could send that one last package [the stuff that really couldn’t fit].

I get there, fill out the form, and present my package to the postal worker…

– That’ll be $130.

– What??  For one package?

– Yes… It’s pretty heavy.

– Can’t I send it by sea?

– Ummm… Yeah… but that takes three months.

– THREE MONTHS?!

– Yep.

THREE MONTHS?!  What are my package doing?  They get to go on a freaking cruise of a lifetime!  I’m pretty sure it took most immigrants in the 1500s less time to sail to this country.  My packages are going to get the plague and then give it to all the Native Americans…

Seriously!  Three months?!  What, are my packages coming by water straight to Jackson?  The pacific and then multiple waterways until the Snake River drops it to Cache Creek and then right to my doorstep?  Because that would be impressive… especially since I don’t yet have a said doorstep.

Welp.  I guess I won’t get my Uncle Sam jacket before Forth of July.  OR any of my books.  OR the amazing birthday jacket that Lauren and Jake sent me that I’m supposed to pass on.  OR the Mother’s Day present that I was planning on sending my momma when I got to Jackson… which won’t get to me before her birthday [August 11].  OR my rain jacket… which might not matter… cuz I think I brought the sunshine to Jackson.  OR any of my bags/purses to carry around all my random stuff.  OR a plethora of clothes that I probably won’t miss but will be very excited to see again.

Oh well.  There are many comical things about this three month journey.

• The first being that they’re all addressed to my friend, Dan Long.  If, for any reason, I’m not in Jackson in three months, he will be surprised by hilarious packages that contain nothing he would actually want.

• I like when people ask me where a certain item of mine is and I can tell them, “AT SEA!”

• There was a third… but, alas, I cannot remember.  How bout the fact that it’s taking my stuff from Australia HALF the time I was actually in Australia to get to me.  Oh man…

– You’re serious?  It takes packages three months by sea to get to the States?

– Yeah, it’s crazy.  It is a lot cheaper… only $70 by sea.  So how would you like to send this?

– What the hell… by sea, please.

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