I’ve been thinking a lot about how to do this… how to post about this… and I’ve decided I’m just going to tell you about the beginning of my Monday morning. I want to remember every part about it, so I’ll write everything down…
I woke up and walked downstairs at 7:30am to start work. [Work = Nannying for a 11 month precious girl.] I held her as her parents were about to head out the door. Her parents, Kylie and Grant, are 28 and love pop culture… yes. For the record, I’ve always really liked them. We ate together, drank together, watched movies and really bad TV. Anywho…
This past week, their phone had been turned off. This was pretty upsetting because that’s how I called my family and love, but I figured it would be turned back on… Until I noticed Monday morning that their phone was gone.
– Hey, where’s the phone?
– Oh, we put it away… We don’t use it.
– Ummm… Well, where is it? Can I use it? That’s how I talk to my family.
– Well, it got shut off so we were just going to keep it off.
– Oh. Okay….
Whatever, I’ve dealt with worse. It sucks but it will all get figured out.
Grant walks upstairs and I remember to ask Kylie about the weekend. It’s a long weekend for Australia [the Queen’s birthday] and they want me to babysit on Saturday night.
– Hey Ky, what time do you guys need me for Saturday night?
– Ummm… 5? 5:30?
– Okay. Am I going to get paid for that?
– Oh, no… We were just going to give you Monday off.
– Isn’t Monday a public holiday? Don’t I get public holidays off?
– No. Not if you’re just doing contract work you don’t.
– Oh. Okay…
Whatever. I’m fine. Whatever. [p.s. nannies get public holidays off… ask any nanny.] I’m fine.
Then Kylie goes upstairs and she’s up there for about five minutes. She comes down and leaves for work. Grant comes down and asks for a cuddle with Bink [the girl I nanny for]. Then he’s just kinda hanging around and it’s pretty awkward.
– I’m going to stay home today… Just cuz, it’s gonna rain… I can’t work in the rain.
– What? Didn’t it rain all last week?
– Well, sometimes we can work in the rain.
I should have known by now. Grant was in his WORK clothes, it was not raining… hmmm…
– Okay, well I was gonna take Bink for a walk this morning. Can I do that?
– Ummm… No, you can just go. I’ll watch Bink.
– What? Go for a walk by myself?
– Yeah… I’ll take Bink for a walk later.
– Uhh… Okay. Then I’ll just ride my bike down to town and grab a coffee and I’ll be right back.
I was psyched! Bike ride into town for a morning coffee by myself? Sweet. I grabbed $5 and put it in my pocket, got my phone, rolled up my jeans and put on my shoes. Then Grant said…
– Before you go, just so you know, I wanted to tell you that this will be your last week here.
– [I was blindsided.] What??
– It’s just not working out. We need our space.
– What?? Why?? [at this point I’m crying.]
– Don’t be upset. You’re great with Bink… she’s a lot happier now that you’re around, but it’s just hard living in a small area. We need our space. I’ll stay home this week with her so that you can find another job or something. Get things figured out.
I don’t think I said actual words after this. I cried a lot and I think I said “Sorry” at some point. Then I just wandered out of the house… no bike.
I walked down the road, shocked. I called my mom. “I got fired…” Tears, tears, tears, confusion.
Still walking. I called Dan Long. “What am I going to d-“…. “You know where you have a lot of people who lov-” …. “I feel so lo-” …. Our call got dropped about one hundred times.
Still walking. What is going on?! What am I doing?! Where am I?! I called Mark and Tamsin. “Tamsin, can I just come over for the day?” “Of course! Yes, please come.”
Walking back towards the house, I pass the busstop. There is a young Asian man standing there.
– Hi. What time does this bus come?
Awkward smiles and nods.
– What time does the bus come?
Awkward smiles and nods.
You must remember that I’ve been sobbing for about a half hour, so it looks like I have, in fact, been hit by the bus. This poor kid can’t understand a word this crazy sad junkie is saying… but I’m so desperate and confused, I just talk to him anyway…
– Okay, I’m going to go to my house and get some money and try to get back before the bus comes.
Awkward smiles and nods.
I walk about five steps and see the bus coming. Dammit. They only come every hour… I can’t go home. Okay. I’m getting on the bus.
It’s $4.20 for my bus ride. It’s a pretty crowded bus. I sit down in the row in front of my busstop friend and think… “How am I going to afford the train ride to Mark and Tamsin’s?” After about ten minutes I just think, “F*ck it” and I stand up in front of the crowded bus and say…
– Hi. Ummm…. Hi. I just got fired and I just need about five dollars for the train… Can anyone help at all?
Nothing. Everyone avoids eye contact. No one will even look at me. I’m a mess. One woman, who I had noticed looking at me before [because I’m an obvious mess], finally made eye contact and said, “I’m sorry.” I looked around one last time and then finally looked down to my busstop friend right in front of me.
Awkward smiles and nods from him.
– Right. Okay.
Nothing. Dammit. How am I going to get there?? We arrive at the train station and I’m not going to lie to you… I looked for a way to sneak on to the train. I did. I was desperate. But, no… it was guarded pretty well. So then I decided that I would have to ask… again. Apparantly, I am not good at this… or people are not good at this… I’m not sure. I asked two people, “Do you have spare change for the train?” and they just picked up their pace and kept walking. Finally, I went and stood next to the ticket machine, to see how much a ticket would cost… exactly. As I walked up, an older man also approached…… Okay, why not…
– Hi. Do you have any extra change for the train?
– How much do you need?
– Ummmm… [he counted the change in his hand… not enough.]
– It’s okay…
– No, wait, here, I have money. [he fumbles around his pockets and pulls out his wallet.] Where you going?
– Central. [I start crying.] I’m sorry… I’m fine.
He buys my ticket for me, hands it to me, looks me straight in the eye and with so much compassion says…
– Enjoy your day.
I fell in love with him. He was my favorite person in the whole wide world. Thank you! Thank you!
And that was the beginning of my morning.
Everything will be okay. I am okay now, nay great… I am great now. More on what’s next soon…
I do just want to end this by saying that it is hard. It is all hard. But it is all worth it for the beauty found in the old man with the sweater with the patches on the elbows, who checks every pocket he’s wearing before he finds his worn, leather wallet, to buy you a train ticket…
Enjoy your day.