tryin’ to rock it.

This is some me and some friends in Yosemite.

liz, rambo, anna, me.

liz, rambo, anna, me.

Take note of my outfit.  That is my favorite favorite shirt.

Yesterday, I wore my favorite shirt.

In a hurry, running from one job to another, I threw my computer bag over my shoulder and walked towards the office.  I saw a guy standing outside the door a ways and thought to myself, “Wow, that is one beautiful guy..”  And then the guy saw me and definitely was looking at me… then he kept looking.  Me, the girl who falls in love with anyone who makes eye-contact, was giddy.  I smiled at him, looked away, looked back, he was still looking!  Here I am thinking, “I still got it.”

Then I walk into the office and sit down in the chair next to my co-worker, Elliot.

– Hey Elliot.  How are you?

[he turns his chair around.]

– Hi Rachel.  I’m good.

– Did you hear the bad news?

– You’re leaving us?

– Yeah, the News & Guide offered me a full time job… with benefits… so I think I’m gonna take that.

– You gotta do what you gotta do… but that does suck, you’re a pretty cool chick.

– Oh thanks!  I really like you guys too!  I’m sad to leave.

We talked like this for about five minutes, before my phone rang.

– Sorry, hold on Elliot.

I turned around, picked up the phone and began to talk to the renter I was trying to get a place from.  But then I became absurdly flustered when I looked down… my shirt [my favorite shirt… see above] had somehow become unbuttoned all the way down below my bra!  My shirt was WIDE open… showing bra, chest, a lot… showing way more than is appropriate.  I quickly buttoned up my shirt and hurried the conversation.

– Yes… okay…. thank you… have a good one… bye!  [hang up]  ELLIOT!  Why didn’t you tell me that my shirt was wide open and you could see my whole chest?!  Oh my gosh!  This guy outside was staring at me and I was thinking “Man, I’m hot shit” and he was thinking, “Score!  Free peep show!”  Oh my gosh.  Elliot!  Why didn’t you tell me?!?

– I thought you were tryin’ to rock it.

the way voices carry over water.

[oh… oh, wull hay… didn’t see you there…]

I am waiting for the circles under my eyes to fade back to flesh.

I am waiting for one of the blurry things to become clear… just one… any one.

I am waiting for answers to questions I haven’t asked.

I am waiting for my inside self to wake up, do something, create something.

I am not waiting at all.

I am confident there is no use waiting.

I am moving.

I am saying yes to so many things… too many things?

I am bending.

I am flexing.

I am not breaking.


I want to carry you
and for you to carry me
the way voices are said to carry over water.

Just this morning on the shore,
I could hear two people talking quietly
in a rowboat on the far side of the lake.

They were talking about fishing,
then one changed the subject,
and, I swear, they began talking about you.

[billy collins]

we’re not drawing!

Man, I heard a song on KHOL yesterday and was like, “Wow, I love this song… I’m gonna share it” and then I totally forgot what it was.  Shwoops.  It was good though… rest assured.

So, I have too many jobs now.  Random jobs have me running around working from 8am-11pm [like yesterday] and it’s all a little overwhelming.  I looked at my Google calendar and figured out I don’t have a day off until July 5th… dahhhh.  But this is the price you pay to make something work, I guess.  Things that you really want to work, take work.  Sure, sometimes you get the serendipitous dropped-in-your-lap job, house, love, car, friends, gig, but sometimes [these times] you don’t.  And then it’s time to get crackin’.

I babysat for my new favorite three-year-old last night, Beckett.  I’ll be babysitting for him regularly now.  He is a-dor-able… and hilarious.  [this next story might be too much for some to handle.]  So last night, Beckett and I were in the backyard playing with the dogs when Beckett got a very worried look on his face and DARTED back in the house yelling, “I gotta poop!”  That, in itself, was hilarious/precious enough.

But then I walk in the house and hear Beckett yell…

– Raaaachel!  I need you!

So I walk over to the bathroom [a small half bathroom] and am a little concerned because the light was off…

– Beckett… you okay?

– Can you turn the light on?

[p.s. please note that he is grunting when speaking.]

– Yeah, sure buddy.

I turn the light on.

– I need you in here.

– You need me to wipe?

– No, I just need you in here.

– Okay.

– I need you to sit down.

– Ummmm…

This is a really small bathroom we’re talking about here.  And the only thing to sit on is a step-stool that Beckett uses to wash his hands.

– Beckett, there’s really no place to sit.

– Please.  Please… I need you here.

He was precious… I couldn’t argue with him.  So, then we’re sitting, knees to knees… looking at each other… he’s still pooping… I’m laughing at my life… we’re having a moment… a very. weird. moment.  Then he says…

– Can you shut the door?

– Absolutely not.

– Pleeeease… I need you to shut the door.

– No, Beckett… That is where I draw the line.

– We’re not drawing!  We’re pooping!

I about died laughing.


If you don’t know Dabney West, you should.



And if you do know her, you should wish her a happy birthday!

Let me tell you a story about Dabney and birthdays.

I had bought a Sesame Street balloon for a friend’s belated birthday celebration and was riding around town with it.  Talk about annoying.  The thing just wanted to be let free… it was driving me crazy.  So, when I almost ran my bike into Dabney’s car, I actually got excited..

– Hey!

– Hey!  Awesome!  Here, you take this balloon!  It’s for Anna!

– Okay!

Then Dabney throws the balloon in the backseat but the back windows are down!  So the balloon starts flying out the window and I’m running [while still standing on my bike] to catch the balloon and I just barely snag it!

– Ahhh!!  Watch out!  Your windows are down!  I got it!

– Ahhh!!  Sorry!  I gotta go, a car’s coming!  I’ll pick you up later!

And then we parted ways.  I was laughing pretty hard at the random, hilarious run-in we had.  Later, in the car, whilst getting the birthday package together, we recounted how funny our earlier interaction was.

– Oh my gosh, that was one of the funnier run-ins I’ve ever had.

– Yes, I agree.  Man.  Hey, hold on to that balloon, the windows are down.

– Oh, I will.  We should figure out who’s who in our group of friends in this Sesame Street gang.

And so we did just that.  We went through all of them and figured out who would be who… we were real excited to tell Anna that she would, obviously, be Count Dracula.  Then we’re literally about thirty seconds from the park where we’re supposed to surprise our friend, when I decide that I want to tie the balloon to her gift bag.

– Hey, I’m just gonna tie this balloon on– [blllblllblblllbllll]

My fingers let up for a second and the balloon SHOT out of the window.  I was shocked and whipped my head out the window to see it flying upward.  There were no words… only belly-aching, crying laughter for about a good minute.  It all happened so fast!  And then our amazing Sesame Street gang, who we had already saved once that day, was gone…

p.s. If you didn’t figure it out “blllblllblblllbllll” is the sound a balloon makes when it flies out of a moving car.

Oh man.  Anywho… HAPPY BIRTHDAY DABZ!!  Thanks for an always good time.  You rule.

And I’ve posted this before, but it’s one of my favorite favorites and it involves balloons.:


for the moment.

oh, well damn.  go watch this:

Let me elaborate.

This song.  Wow.  This song.

First of all, I love it… lots.  I love the music, the vocals, the lyrics, it all.

Secondly, the moment I hear it, I am taken back to a certain moment in time.  And it’s silly, you’re going to roll your eyes at me, but I’m taken back to a bar… a bar in Jackson… 43 North.  One of the sketchiest bars in Jackson that always seems to have a cover.  [I pride myself on never paying a cover at 43… but that’s a whole nother story.]

When I hear this song, it brings me back to dacing and smiling so big in 43 North with a bearded boy who I thought was just about the hottest thing in the whole world [for a whole 15 minutes] and thinking to myself, “How nice… a guy who is a really good dancer!  My parents would be so proud.  And this is SUCH a good song!  And I LOVE dancing!”

It was so simple, but it was so joyous.  And this song [this sad song] makes me think of that night… those three minutes… dancing… smiling… good times.