whatever.

Getting ready for the day, I became overjoyed.

– I can do whatever I want today…. [within monetary reason.]

Cool. Wow… Yes. I can do whatever I want today. No, wait… I can do whatever I want with my life…. [within monetary reason.]

WOW. Anything I want. Yes and yes!

So then I had this epiphany with things I want, one thing after another, like I was standing under a small waterfall… they relentlessly poured over me… and I was loving it, smiling within it all.

Let me share some things:

• I want love. I know this is so cliché and understated when left by itself and obvious but yes. Yes and yes: I want love.

• I want art. I want to be surrounded by it. Art is the embodiment of life, love, motivation, inspiration… somethingness. I want somethingness.

• I want green. I want the world around me to be rich in color, green. Full of life. Green. I want to sink my toes into it all.

• I want a family. Someday. There is no denying it. A little girl just sat down at the table next to me… she’s maybe four. She smiled, waved, said something to me… couldn’t hear her… I’m wearing headphones. She is precious. My heart dropped, sank, sitting at the bottom of me, holding it’s breath.

Those are big things. I know this. I want other big things too… but the simple things, I want those too:

• I want a place to sit and read. To sit and write. To sit and create. I want that place to be right next to you.

• I want you. [You = my family, my friends, my love, my dancing partners, my climbing partners, musicians, artists, writers, my love.] I want you around.

• I want cardigans. With pockets. Many.

• I want to be exactly like my parents. Both of them. Them. Together.

• I want to laugh. At myself, at you, at us, at them, at it all.

• I want to dance. With you. In the silliest manner.

And I know all this wanting just reminds you of how self-centered I am. Yes, it reminds me of this too. But what to do with it all? Tell you about it. Hope you want some of the same. Hope you’ll join me.

1 thought on “whatever.”

  1. More days should be like that. It’s such a wonderful feeling. Thanks for putting it into words so well. It reminds me of waking up on my Monday in Yosemite and saying “I can do ANYTHING I want today! ANYTHING!” But then I’d usually just read by the river and make blackberry mojitos while dance partying in the kitchen with you. I miss it. So much. Anyways if that wasn’t the most self-indulgent comment ever left on your blog, I don’t know what could be.

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