I saw three people litter today.
I was driving at 5:30am [I’m as surprised as you] to do the Anzac Day Run [yes, I am equally as shocked], when I saw the car in front of me throw a candy wrapper from their car. I gave them a quick beep but it didn’t phase them… which makes sense because Australians honk their horns like it’s makin’ ’em money.
I was walking to the beach when I saw a car leaving the parking lot throw another candy wrapper from the car. How much candy is this country eating? And are they all feeling so guilty about their indulgences that they have to quickly rid themselves of the evidence?
– Ugh. I can’t believe I just ate that low-quality, high-calorie, Australian chocolate. I am despicable! Get the wrapper out of my sight!
The Worst for Last:
I’m pulling in to the café that I am currently sitting at, when I see this guy pulling out of the parking lot just throw a bag [like a drive-thru food bag] of trash out of his car. I give him the “WTF?!” face and hands and he proceeds to lose. his. shit. Honking, cursing and definitely flipping me off.
Dear Mr. Littering Man [the one from Terrigal Drive, in front of Cornerstone Books],
Really? REALLY?? We are in an absolutely beautiful part of this amazing planet, on a gorgeous day, and you just threw a pound of trash out of your car window… with multiple trash bins within walking distance. Yep, I’m looking at three trash bins right now.
Anywho… That, in itself, is quite unbelievable, but then I give you my “WTF” face [and hands]… and you took this mightily offensive. Little did you understand that I was asking an honest question: “Mr. Littering Man, what the f–k are you doing? I would really like to know. Would you like to grab a coffee and talk about it? We’re right here…”
You were obviously not very keen on my invitation. Thanks for rolling your window down so that we could communicate better, though. It made it much easier to hear you yell, “GO F–K YOURSELF, BITCH!” And don’t you worry, I took four years of Sign Language, so I completely understand your hand signals… You were being a bit redundant with your words and gestures, but that’s okay. All spectators, deaf and hearing, completely got the point you were trying to get across.
Speaking of, I’m pretty sure some of the fine ladies that saw you want your number. It’s a shame you didn’t stick around. I told ’em that if they called the Terrigal Jail three nights outta the next week, they should be golden… I told ’em to bank on a Friday or Saturday night. We’re hoping you live up to your stereotype.
Oh, and don’t worry about that trash… I got it. Your words towards me were so inspiring and uplifting that I thought I would do something nice for you. Was that it? It was either that or the fact that if I took pride in nothing else than being the opposite of you in life, I would feel accomplished.
Well, I hope your noisy departure down Terrigal Drive led you to all your heart’s desires. [more fast food, maybe someone else to litter with, more people to curse at… all the finer things in life.] Maybe our paths will cross again sometime… hopefully with law enforcement witnesses, you scary son of a bitch, you.
Rachel. [aka the girl on Terrigal Drive, in front of the Cornerstone Books, that gave you the “WTF” face/hands after you littered.]