lovely little things.

these days, I have to remind myself to stop and breathe in life. love the little lovely things.

like the awesome card from your bff:
or the valentine from your dear friends and their BABY… their beautiful, wonderful babe:

or remembering to watch your all-time favorite movie near enough to valentine’s:

I swear I interpret this film differently every time I watch it. I love it.
and I’m determined to drink a blue ruin someday.

or giggling throughout the day at the misfortunes of your partner in crime.
[which might make me horrid.]

or the full-on incredible valentine’s present from your mom:
crystal_and_hef mom_note

the little lovely things.

pinging joy within.



Today has quietly come.

Last year, on January 21st, I finally exhaled. I had survived one year. I had made it a year since my huge — life threatening/changingaccident.

It’s been two years. Two years.

In 2013, I survived. It was a whole year in survival mode. A painful and fragile existence.

And then a year ago today, I promised myself I would go beyond surviving and start thriving. I would let myself live. I would start grabbing life by the balls… and mean it.

It was a promise.

And I did it. I thrived.

What a year.

There were many painful times. There were hard decisions and sleepless nights.

But I cannot let 2014 slip away without acknowledging just how incredible it was.

There was my first film festival.

And then a bike tour with an amazing friend.

bluebonnetsforfacebook[oh, that ended with us winning tickets to see my favorite band of all time and then us getting front-row passes for being awesome and wearing masks… NBD.]

Then having a story published about one of the best experiences I’ve ever had — bike touring with my mom.

the hug_rgb
And then another film festival. A big one. My first time in Canada.

Where we won an award that led to our debut on PBS. PBS.

10012770_824297047600329_4766137471563233147_o[I still feel like this every time I think about it.]

And then there were Texas times with my whole family and my best friend.


Oh, and then another bike tour!

There was a 20 In Their 20s Award. [just in time.]

There was some of the most fun work I’ve ever done.

Oh, and yesterday I submitted two films for the 2015 Big Sky Documentary Film Festival. [celebrate!]

And there was so much more. So many times and travels with loved ones.

Love an joy in friends and family.

A deeper love for my one.


A confidence in this beautiful life I’m leading.



Thank you, 2014 [and few parts of 2015, though, mainly you’ve been kind of a shit-show of horribleness… pull it together, 2015].

It’s been a real pleasure, 2014. Thank you for being so good to me.

Tonight, we’ll make a toast to 2014 and look forward to 2015.

For the two year anniversary, there is nothing but reflection. Nothing but absolute joy and gratefulness for this life.

I’m just so happy to be here. Beyond grateful for the goodness that goes beyond just being here.

Thank you for being a part of all of the beauty, the thriving.

And I got to see one of my favorites this year in a beautiful historic theater, from the balcony, with dearest friends:

[so much love.]

well, now I just want to ride my bike across the country on the northern tier.

This year has brought an abundance of exciting things. One of those exciting things was working with Epic Montana via Adventure Cycling to make the first episode in a series called, “Adventure Cycling Montana.”

I’ve plastered this short video all over the rest of my social media venues, but if you haven’t watched yet, I do think you’ll enjoy…

I also wrote a little behind-the-scenes blahg post about the whole experience over here. It was such an amazing experience. I still can’t get over that this was part of my job this year.

[exciting things.]

enjoyable and invigorating.

I just caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and paused with comical assurance.

11:30pm: Wool ski socks, short shorts, grey sweatshirt, long necklace, mom’s old wool cap, bourbon in hand.

I chuckle and think, How did I get here?

With a quick mental recap, I conclude that this day said so much about where I am:
• Still can’t make anything but a shitty cup of coffee. I try so many mornings. When I asked Evan to taste this morning, he says, It’s not the worst.

• Working hard on the things I love still feels like a Mad Men daydream but in actuality means staring at computer for twelve hours at a time while my ass finds a new shape. I love it.

• Trail running in December in Montana is something that’s possible and enjoyable and invigorating and I still surprise myself when I prove these things to myself.

• Watched a Boyhood featurette and fell harder in love with that film and then harder in love with life:

This made me want to call so many people — my little brother, everyone in Austin, my best friend, every guy I dated in college — and tell them they must sit down right now and watch Boyhood. They must. Right now.

• I received a grant today for a film I’m making. When I read the email, I immediately raised my hands in the air out of excitement like a child would. I like that that’s still in me.

• Unapologetically had a burger and fries and an old fashion with a co-worker to catch up on all of the menial office gossip. This will always be a thing.

• Watch a hockey game with a gaggle of friends and did a lot of standing up and yelling like a crazy mother. I’m still confused on how I got here.

• Home now. Doing laundry so that I can wear my favorite pair of pants tomorrow at work because we’re releasing a film I’ve been working very hard on and I think I should be in my very favorite pants.

Now that I’ve retraced and traced everything, I guess I see.

Everything is pretty familiar.


And for good measure, a song I love right now that maybe should be a warning sign…

[oh, that’s how.]

merry + bright.

I’m up to my ears in final projects and films for the semester and I’ve lost my manfriend to his new mistress — the library/studying for finals.

but somehow we found time to find a tree and find each other.

I love this time of year… maybe more than ever before.
being in the mountains and making art and being in love and laughing with friends is all I’ve ever wanted.
it’s home.
and that home has a semi-decorated christmas tree in it.

[merry + bright.]